3 March 2011 at 11:32 pm #2596sammyjo74Participant
Its been near two years since I have been on here and got fantastic advice, which really helped. Its a weight off your shoulders just knowing that there are others that know how you are feeling, and freaky that there are people on here telling your story.
My other half got into a lot of trouble about two years ago owing money all over the place, and I helped him pay it off. I say helped, I basically paid it and am now in debt up to my ears. He sorted himself out, and I KNOW he did as I saw the difference in him and there was no secrets and it was great. Never crossed my mind that he was gambling and looking back I really think he wasn’t. I was so proud of him as I knew it was a huge thing in his life.
End of last year things went down hill, job dried up and he was struggling to make ends meet. The a nasty car accident at the beginning of the year put paid to his taxi job, so he is currently working 3 jobs to make ends meet. Then we have a pending court appearance and he may loose his licence for build up of points, which puts paid to two of his delivery jobs and I think he is visiting the bookies again.
Its the little things you notice, his phone gets switched off at the same point of the day he was in the bookies 2 years ago. The vagueness of his phonecalls, and when particularly low refusing to talk at all. We are back to trying to finish with me every so often and his reason is that he is not good enough for me, or he just lets people down all the time and can’t see himself changing. But its the lying, he said that he didn’t get paid his wages, which I believed as one of his jobs can be like that, then his sister told me he had got paid (she didn’t realise she had dropped him in it and i never said) as he was due me money. Gave him every opportunity to tell me the truth, mentioned that I would understand if he had been gambling again after the run of bad luck he had and we would work through it. But nope, he said ‘I wouldn’t be that stupid’.
But he is isn’t he??
I am paying, or trying to pay off all his debt and he is contributing nothing as he keeps telling me he doesn’t earn enough (he has his kids to pay for and his mother). But when I think about it there must be spare cash from 2 jobs.
Don’t know what to do, this time. I am tired and alone dealing with all this and now he is backing off more and more so it must be the gambling again.
We live a fair distance apart and it would be easy to let go but I don’t know (as daft as this sounds) if I want to yet. But am I holding on cause I still love him or am I holding on as I don’t want to drown in this debt on my own.
SJ aka fried headWhat doesn’t kill you makes you stronger x
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