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help and advice needed hubby is a CG

Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum Friends and Family help and advice needed hubby is a CG

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  • #1712
    mmz
    Participant

    where to start? Been with my hubby 14 years, married 8 years met him wen i was 17 and we have 3 very young kids. He is a CG first found out 6 years ago and since then usual story he promises to stop but every now and then find out he’s still doing it. Just need advice on what to do, he still cnt admit he has a problem or even admit he gambles even when confronted with the proof. Im at my wits end. I just dnt jnderstand why he does it what causes it, even when he knows im gonna leave with the kids. Sounds strange but he is a good husband and dad, loving and caring, but the LIES! everyday, day in and day out he lies about things he doesnt need to and so thrre is no trust, he’s destroyed our marriage. And i’ve contacted GA and they say he cnt be helped till he actually wants to stop, but thr problem is he doesnt. And he’s destroying me and the kids in the meantime, which he is completely oblivious to. We have now had a massive argument een again i found out he’s upto old tricks again, and he’s refusing to leave the house, and i got nowhere to go, but i cnt stay with him any longer, not at least until he faces upto his addiction, which he just wont do. At the moment he’s having the best of both worlds, playing happy families with me and kids and gambling all our money away. I try to control finances but he just manipulated and ends up taking money from me saying he needs it for petr and lunch but i know he just gambles it. I even hide money from him so i have enough for food but to no avail. Some help and advice badly needed

    #1713
    berber
    Participant

    Dear MMZ,
    First of all, welcome to this website and well done on your first post: it is the hardest. I can relate to ‘not knowing where to start’ as so much has happened in the past years, and you have done well in describing how you feel. As you might have read in other posts on this site, we are all learning about the addiction and in that – speaking for myself – I realize that the most important person to take care of now is *me* (and my little son). The addiction does not care about anybody, just to get cash to gamble. Like you, I felt destroyed and the terrible nonsense lies added to this sense of destruction. Thanks to this website we (my hb and me) have learned a lot about compulsive gamblers and the way to handle things, we are just at the beginning of a long road ahead, that’s just how it is. Dear MMZ-my little bit of advice is: read other posts on this site and you will know that you are not alone. Joining the chat groups (top right corner of the screen for the *****) has also helped me. Take care and write more soon! Sending over a cyberhug, Berber.

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