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on the verge of giving up…

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    mommyduck
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    my husband and i have been married for 6 years and he has spent 4+ years of that in gambling. i am so tired as i feel like it’s a lose-lose battle with him when it comes to his addiction. we have a 3 year old son who loves him a lot but he never get to really spend time with him as when he is at home, he is either sleeping or busy "managing" his work place. when he gets days off, he lies and goes to casino. when our son was born, he went to the casino straight from the hospital after i had my c-section. he also spent the money i saved up for when our son is born. he also have a 9 year old son who looks up to him and looks forward into spending time with him, but he also does not have time for him either. i cannot do this any more. i just found out today that he did so many loans and of course that leads to him being in the casino all day even though he was supposed to be at work. we were supposed to put up our christmas tree today and the boys were very excited. i told them that when their dad gets off work, we will buy more ornaments to put on the tree. so they waited and waited but until now, it’s almost 1am and he is still not home. we live with my parents as i refuse to move out and get our own place as i know he is not very good at budgeting his money. my parents knows that he gambles as they have seen him come home early in the morning after supposedly getting off work at 12 midnight. my step-father has already threatened to kick him out if he doesn’t quit. therefore, he signed up for the self-exclusion program and showed them that he did. unfortunately, it only works for card rooms not the whole casino premises itself so he can still go and gamble.
    he was laid off from work a year and a half ago because he "lost the money" that he was supposed to deposit for his work as he was the manager and needs to do daily deposits. for almost a year i paid for everything, bills, food, what ever we need. now that he have a job, it’s still the same thing. i still pay for everything as his money goes to the casino right after he receives it.
    i tried everything i could for him to stop. talking doesn’t really mean anything anymore. even being angry has no effect. i tried making him go to GA but he refuses to as he said "there isn’t any point." i am on the verge of separating from him and getting a divorce. however, i feel really sorry for our kids, especially my step-son, as he will have no guidance since his mother also have her own issues.
    i really don’t know what else to do…

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