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todays the day for an ultimatum

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    I’m waiting for my partner of20 years to come home from work and have decided to tell him that its me or his addiction
    Ive been to gamanon with him,held all his money, supported him for 20 years, listened to the ‘im sorry – ill sort it’ a million times but now with 2 young toddlers to look after my inner lioness is out to protect them- advice please!!!!!!!Surround yourself with positive people


    Dear Missy
    I am glad to have been of some help.
    I would like to explain one further thing which may help.   Compulsive gambling has nothing to do with money – the ‘gamble’ is the goal and money is only a means to that goal. You mentioned giving your partner money for his football coupon which seems a harmless hobby.   The addiction distorts the CGs mind and doing a football coupon activates that addiction and keeps it live – most CGs who live in control of their addiction accept that for them there can never be another gamble. This is hard as this has been their way of life and it is why they need the right support.  
    Before I leave you to go to gamcare, if your partner is really wanting to change his life Gordon House is a wonderful way to do it.   It is residential, so there is a time apart but it is drop in the ocean compared to the rest of his life in control of his addiction. For you it is a time to recharge your batteries and regain your self-esteem and confidence.     
    You have proved that by changing ‘your’ behaviour you have moved your relationship forward.   I think that it is good that those who love CGs realise that if what they have been doing, for however many years, isn’t working maybe it is time to do something different. The same applies to the CG.  
    Those who have loved ones who enter the GH programme are funded to receive help on this site so maybe will meet again.
    I wish you both well and although I know it will not be a bed of roses – a bed of green shoots showing the signs of recovery are a joy to behold. Thank you for the update.

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